I’m continuing to get “schooled” on just how powerful thoughts are…as A Course in Miracles notes in a lesson, there are no neutral thoughts.
I can say that to myself and intellectually agree with it, but experience is the best teacher! Recently, I wrote a check, a big check, which is noteworthy because, in this electronic age, how often does one write a check!
I made sure there was plenty of money to cover the check, that it would be available, etc. etc., but, this thought kept circling…something’s going to get screwed up with the check.
Day after day, I checked the account expecting it would not have cleared because, try as I might, this “something’s going to get screwed up with the check” kept circling. And then, oh my gosh, the unexpected avalanche of negative stories, this person is to blame, they’re not competent, guilt about the transaction, anger that somehow the bank was doing something, anger at money in general for causing so much upset…amazing the blah, blah, blah as I was listening to it play.
I finally got up the determination, to change the thought to, ‘oh good, the check’s cleared, I really appreciate they were able to do this for us,’ with the visualization that the account balance has now been appropriately adjusted. We contacted the person who received the check, and were told it was lost, she remembers having it, but, she’s looked through everything and can’t find it (this three weeks later).
Again, I’m working through all of this blame each time it comes into my head, gently trying to turn it to “thank you for showing me this thought which I need to let go of.” Finally, I felt at peace – there was no mental agitation when I visualized the balance being adjusted appropriately, I felt genuine gratitude for her role in this lesson for me, all the while her continuing to tell us she can’t find the check, we’ll need to stop payment, reissue and the like.
It wasn’t more than a day or two, after I felt at peace, and, I got a text – “I found the check and will get it deposited today, thanks for bringing it to our attention.”
Honestly, it makes me want to laugh, and terrifies me at the same time, this power of thought. Every thought going out there, every belief being expressed, is being dutifully shown back to us by a loving but accurate universe.
The best I can do sometimes is, “thank you for showing me this thought,” but, it’s a start, and I have definitively learned, it is a start in a better direction.!