I realize I’ve been in this place a very long time, just wandering. I remember the rock as having always been there -It looks both in and out of its element at the same time, sometimes a glaring incongruity, then. invisible in the wasteland. As time has gone on the siren-like fascination and antipathy that rock back and forth within me toward the hulking mass swing more wildly,, and now, I walk over to it. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n An irresistible urge to move it, dislodge it, sweeps me, rising and cresting, then crashing and retreating, like waves trying to advance the shore. I honestly have no idea what value there could be in moving a rock around in a desert, and I can continue to trek, but I’m fully aware of the pointlessness in the excursion. I continue to feel the compulsion, approach the rock. Here, I’m standing next to it, feeling ridiculous contemplating dislocating it with my puny strength. Still, I at last resolve to lean in and push.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I feel a very real presence next to me, giving me an assist. I’m exerting strenuously, so I don’t turn to look, but I can sense his presence, I can even sense the robe he’s wearing.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The rock gives way and rolls forward, not without effort, but far more easily than I expected even with the assist. I turn to look for my teammate, but that presence is now gone in the same seamless flow.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Turning back to the reveal, underneath the rock lies a hatch door. Of course I’m curious, but also trepidatious – I confess to an aversion to creepy crawlies and rotting yuck and other nightmare imaginings. I’m afraid.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I am hesitating and losing ground in my attraction\/aversion dance with the hatch. Surprisingly and suddenly, I find myself pushing through the dread and opening it. On the other side of the portal is light! I feel its welcoming gaiety, joyfulness, ease, its beckoning peace. And yet, I remain standing, there, alone in the wilderness. Fittingly, the rock rocks back, firmly covering the escape hatch. End scene, fade to black.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When this story first came to me, I’ll admit to almost disappointment – rock in the wilderness, portal to a light-filled world, yawn, cliche. As I wrote and unpacked it, my arrogance is humbled and I tremble at the depth and strength of support and guidance that is there for me – it is a personalized metaphor for my journey. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yet, I am still hesitating. As joyless as is the desert, it is that with which I’m familiar. The portal carries with it a sense of doom, annihilation, of death. I don’t remember the magnificence of the kingdom, and so, I continue to equivocate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"Rock](\"https:\/\/5startimes.com\/cjsalvar\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/Rock-in-the-Wilderness-300x271.jpg\")
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