A humorous look back, look forward :)

Sometimes, you just got to laugh…

The subconscious or unconscious level can be brutally honest, and humorous, too! This exercise has two different but related pieces:

She seemed to be having a fruitful conversation with herself
She was always "special" in the wink-wink way
Her demeanor politely described as other-worldly
Always longing for some reconciliation
But she was totally missing the significant in front of her

There, in the universe of saints
Perfumed and fragrant as apple blossoms
Colors blazing like the orange in a sunrise
Sumptuous bounty beyond measure
Fantastic beyond imagination

The first part is about me (my family, especially my blessed mom, would get a chuckle out of it). When I was a young girl, I was practically consumed by this need to know, something, to make sense of life, existence. A for instance, I had a tree I would climb and sit in, reading my dad’s metaphysics textbook, or frustrating myself to the point of tears trying to “know” concepts such as infinite regression, intellectually. Yeah, I was (am) that kid.

The “missing the significant in front of her” took me a while to digest. With “seasoning” (age), I’m learning the truth — it’s not happening “to” me, it’s all happening “for” me. All the lessons are there, right in front of me, like a patient teacher — this keeps coming up in your experience, why don’t you think about why that might be, wouldn’t a different choice be better? No? Sigh, all right, let’s try again. (Needless to say, I have not been a quick study!)

The second part is certainly about “the kingdom” promised as the veil of knowing, remembering, who am I? lifts. I’d love to think it was some sort of foreshadowing, but, likely, it’s ego input. In this case, I doubt it matters — it will be a lovely end to the dream, someday!