The Castle in the High Clouds

Today’s introspection produced interesting insights. I enjoy using the “10 words” tool I’ve mentioned before as a means to get a glimpse of the inner consciousness levels, to rummage around in there a bit. Today’s 10 words cam up:

• castle
• rock
• fortress
• pumpkin
• altogether
• altruism
• phony
• correspondent
• functional
• nonsense

…and here’s the “story” that came together as I wrote sentences for each word.

Her difficulty? Remaining functional in an insane asylum,
 Nonsense, the rules for engagement
 The castle in the high clouds beckons
And in front of her a rock, so huge, 
      it seems impossible to get around it.

Although her life is filled with everyday miracles, 
      like pumpkins turning into carriages
In the deep fortress of her heart,
There's altogether too little "all together" there.
Yes, altruism on show, but so phony it's funny.

The deeper I get in the works, A Course in Miracles, the deeper my understanding that this, likely, IS the rabbit hole, the insane asylum. If it’s true (and I think it might be), that we are choosing our moment to moment experience with our thoughts and feelings, why would we be choosing such chaos, inevitable death and heartache, such non-sense?

The castle in the high clouds is for me a symbol of “the kingdom,” of the promise, of what “eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, what God has ready for those who love Him.” Although I see miracles every day, I’ve hidden my heart in a fortress, the belief in scarcity and lack creating a distrust of “others.” from which I need to protect it. “There’s altogether too little ‘all together’ there” is a wry way to point out how I still cling to individuality for temporal happiness, when oneness will be the wellspring of everlasting joy. Finally, as much as I try to be good and kind, it’s coming from a desire to be an individual, one I might like more, but with no real desire to heal separation. The idea of wanting, settling for happier experiences in the asylum? Now, that’s funny!